Uncomfortably Numb

I was back at the Battery tonight because a couple of my friends were sending their husbands off to Iraq. Once again, our fantastic FRG leader, Caryn, was there giving out hugs and words of support to everyone. I think she’s seen each of our groups off since the Torch Party left – along with her husband – at the end of June. Our equally wonderful FRSA’s, Traci Wheeler (at Brigade level) and Kimberly Walker (at Battalion level) were there to take pictures and give out hugs.  I guess I should explain my abbreviations. I’ve gotten so used to using them that I tend to forget others might not be familiar with them. FRG = Family Readiness Group. If you want to know more about FRGs, you can find information on Google. Maybe later I’ll explain, but not tonight. FRSA = Family Readiness Support Assistant. These invaluable folks are like administrative assistants for both command (at all levels) and FRG leaders. Our ladies are fantastic!

Normally, I can out-talk just about anyone. Tonight I was at a loss for words. I wondered if I’d made a mistake in going back down there because I felt as if I was intruding on personal time that my friends had left with their husbands. I found myself kind of just standing in the same spot, numb to much of what was going on around me unless I was directly spoken to by someone. I did find out, though, that Tony’s flight did not leave the morning of 8 July as expected. Logistical and mechanical delays had them sequestered up at Hunter Army Airfield in Savannah. They were supposed to have left 9 July around 0900. I can almost hear Tony muttering under his breath about how much he hates the flight over to Iraq – and this would be a prime reason why. I’m not a fan of traveling by plane for longer than a couple of hours. By the time the flight is over, especially if I have to make connections, I feel grungy…wrinkled…exhausted. I can’t even imagine the trip he’s got since it didn’t get off to the planned start.

I’ve lived alone for a good 4 years before I married Tony. You’d think I’d be used to being alone, to sleeping alone. Funny how 6 months changes all of that. I find myself waking up every couple of hours to check the phones (my cell and our land-line) even though the rational side of my brain tells me he’s not at a place from which he can call. I teased him about becoming a Facebook addict as a way of staying in touch with me, his friends, and what’s going on with everyone he gives a damn about. So I find that I leave myself logged into Facebook just in case he leaves a message or shows up on my chat list.

I’m tired. The bed has way too much room right now, although Jeeks and CocoaLoco do their best to hog his half of the bed. That puts a smile on my face because they are total bed hogs and spoiled rotten to boot. While The Girls, as I refer to my 2 feline daughters, always eyed Tony as if he were going to lunge at them and (God forbid!) pick them up, Jeeks did decide she liked him enough to lay on him while he slept and would let him scratch her behind the ears for a couple of minutes. CocoaLoco’s jury remained out but sometimes she wanders around the house like she knows someone is missing.

I’m going to try and lay down. Two days and I’m already exhausted.

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